What can I say? It rained for the entire season. Those actors will never feel warm again.

There was definitely a Lady Macbeth motif in this last season, with various characters desperately washing blood from their hands, and their hair, and lots more murders in general. There was a particularly nasty trio of killers, a three-men-in-one-special murder squad specializing in garrotting. Not nice. Beloved characters met gruesome deaths at the hands of their close family members, but I guess that is par for the course in real life. No one bathed, showered or changed their underwear. Although one character was brought a fresh change of clothes at one point,  but for sinister “you’re about to kill someone” reasons so that wasn’t a comfort. No one ever drank any water, had a cup of tea or ate a sandwich. And this bothers me. The apocalypse would be a lot easier to bear if you could just have a nice cup of tea and a bubble bath once in a while.

The clubhouse of the time travellers underwent various assays of interior decorating each more chaotic and destructive than the next, with the fire damage reaching higher levels on the painting of Adam and Eve. The black-ball-of-time-travel made its appearance in different epochs with techie sophistication deteriorating during the 1880s. The character who represents Martha/Eva in old age appeared to be lurking behind the main door dressed in black, just waiting for the hapless youngsters to show up and be confounded again by cryptic messaging. I like to think of the rather sinister, scar-faced Eva as lounging in the green room backstage downing a pink gin before slithering around the doorway and putting even more worry lines on Jonas’ (versions 1 and 2) and Martha’s (versions 1 and 2) faces.

Facial scars were all the rage throughout the season with vicious slashes being used as handy signposts of which version of the characters has shown up at any given time. I guess the writers wanted to give the audience some sort of handy who-is-who tool but still, really, a bit harsh. In this season, Woller is a one-armed man instead of a one-eyed man without any explanation. Mayhem.

Seriously, like someone once said of Goethe: When watching Dark, “sometimes I have the paralyzing suspicion that it’s trying to be funny.”

There were a few delicious lines that made my heart sing: “You don’t want to stop the Apocalypse at all!” I feel that way about how the US is handling the pandemic.

Greatest romantic line to feed your loved one: “Both our fates are bound together in eternal damnation.” Very Goth.

All I know is, from now on whenever I make a terrible mistake and just generally totally foul up my life, I will quietly murmur to myself: “Ich hab alles kaputt gemacht.”

And for God’s sake, why didn’t anyone try to go back and stop Mads from getting killed? That was technically the beginning of the suffering for all the characters and we were never shown that moment. I think I would have liked Mads, he was the only one who ever smiled and was reported to be kind and never spoke ill of anyone. No one ever, ever smiled during this entire season. Except briefly at the very end, but by that time you’re so beaten down by the gloom… a smile here and there would have made up for all the garrotting.

Dark, there will never be another show quite like you and I will miss your beautiful, brilliant, deranged musings on life, guilt, regret, human failing, the relentlessness of time and love…what will I do without you? So many life lessons; I’ll have to write another post to take them all a bit more seriously. For now I’m dizzy with it all and I need a pink gin and a bubble bath. Also, a cup of tea and a sandwich.