Stripes

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s fine. I’ll just run across.”

“Call me when you get home.”

She flashed her sweet smile and waved. “I wish I could hug you!”

“Soon we’ll be able to hug everybody!”

She smiled. “Everyone! I’m going to go around hugging absolutely everyone!”

“Good-bye!”

They waved, giddy at the thought of hugging everyone. Soon. Soon it will be over, and life can begin again.

She crossed the street and walked until she found the path leading into the Common. It was dark. She scanned the Common for other people and saw a couple of joggers running in the opposite direction. That reassured her a bit, but she reached for her phone to call Max so she could have the sound of his voice to keep her company as she walked.

“Where are you?

“Just crossing the Common.”

“Is there anyone around? Are you sure?”

“There’s people running. It’s ok. I’ll run once we’re done.”

“What do you want to do tomorrow?”

“I want to go to that antiques market I told you about. We could have tea after. There’s a sweet little tea-room nearby.”

“Tea? You’re taking me to tea?! You know I’m not a tea guy.”

She laughed, “Antiques and tea, it’s your favourite way to spend the day! We’ll go fishing next time. Something manly to make you happy.”

“Well, let’s not get carried away. I’m not a fishing kind of guy either. Ok, come home, darling. Run all the way. I want to see you.”

She put on her headphones and searched for her latest obsession, this song by the Pet Shop Boys that she loved more than anything. It was so moody and poignant – the lyrics kept running through her head over and over and she had to listen to it feel the emotion again. Once she fell in love with a song, she couldn’t stop listening to it until she wore it out.

She ran, light on her feet, her slight frame bouncing on her bright orange shoes.

Now it almost seems impossible
We’ve drunk too much, and woke up everyone
I may be wrong, I thought we said
It couldn’t happen here

She took a deep breath of the chilly spring air. The breath of the Common lay silky on her skin: a mixture of mown grass, wet earth, and the pond. She stopped to rest. It was a gentle song, slow and mournful. It felt right as a backdrop to what was happening in the world. When this song was written the world was going through another pandemic.

Now it almost seems impossible
We’ve found ourselves back where we started from
I may be wrong, I thought we said
It couldn’t happen here.

She looked around and didn’t see anyone else nearby, so she started running again this time with more urgency. The path was well lit but… she looked ahead and beyond a copse of tall trees she could see the streetlights on the other side of the Common. This spurred her on. She reached the trees and ran faster; the sudden screech of some roosting parakeets almost made her jump right out of her skin.

Something slammed into her. The blow left her breathless. She put her arms out in front of her before the ground came up to meet her. She felt her feet lift off the ground and her body scratched along the ground as someone dragged her quickly off the path and into the shadow of the trees. Then his weight fell on her. Her lungs collapsed and she couldn’t lift her body enough to take a breath, she twisted around trying to breathe or scream but her voice was gone. The weight on top of her may as well have been a boulder; she couldn’t shift him even though her hands were free, and she was pushing off the ground with all her strength. He grabbed her hands and tried to shove them under her body so she wouldn’t be able to use them to protect herself. He pushed her head into the dirt and shifted his hands to fit around her neck. Now she struggled as hard as she could, her mind screaming: no, no, no.

She lost consciousness for a second and lay limp under him. Reassured, he shifted his weight to pull at her clothes. She came back with a gasp and fought even harder than before because she knew this was the end. There was no way out of this – this was the end. She wanted to scratch a hole in the earth and disappear into it, she wanted to lift up to the treetops and fly, she wanted to turn into water or mist, she wanted to become an insect, she wanted so much to live – he punched her hard and she shook her head to clear the tears out of her eyes.

The night was so dark now under the trees, all the light had gone out of the world, all the light had gone. His hands had been so heavy. She felt a shiver run up her spine and tensed her muscles to push him off one last time. Her haunches rose up and pushed into the ground; her spine felt dense and hard – but then his weight felt lighter, and the hackles rose up at the back of her neck. There was a little shriek, and she hoped the parakeets would save her, stupidly she thought the parakeets would attack him – it wasn’t her shrieking, her voice came back guttural and she couldn’t scream but a low sound was traveling up through her, which felt odd, thick somehow, and heavy – she pushed off the ground and this time she was able to fill her lungs with that chilly, clean air, but the smell of him was repulsive. She snuffled a bit to get his scent out of her nostrils. She felt warm all over and her paws were strong and heavy on the ground.

The little shriek came again. She rose up on all fours; the vermin-creature on her back was sliding around grabbing on to her, puny and light now as she stretched out her legs and her claws dug hard into the ground. She turned around, her jaw clenched and massive – she had a voice now, but it was slow in coming; it came up out of her belly – this unearthly growl, the fur rose up all over her body as she heard this sound coming out of her – the vermin-creature was scrambling all over her trying to get off her: shrieking, shrieking, oh how it was shrieking. It annoyed her, the way the creature shrieked, so she swung her powerful neck around again and clamped her fangs around its shoulder and bit down hard to make it stop. Her tail swished around, showing her irritation. It was now screaming without pause and pushing against her grabbing at her fur as if it could push her away. She shrugged it off easily now. She twisted around growling and clamped her jaws around its head. The crunch was satisfying. She held it down with one massive paw and sliced its belly open with her claws which were pleasantly sharp – its belly came open in strips – the shrieking stopped – finally the night was quiet and just the birds rustled in the branches above her.

The vermin-creature lay still. She couldn’t be bothered to eat it; her tastes ran to venison. She lay on her side and began to lick her paws clean.

The Indian parakeets rustled above her, awed. They knew her, she was one of them, she came from their jungle; she was the first familiar thing they had seen since they were brought to this strange, cold land. They watched as she groomed herself, licking her bright orange stripes clean, clean, clean.  

By Valentina Cambiazo

*On the same night that Sarah Everard disappeared, the body of Brianna Lozano was found in Beacon Hill Park, Victoria BC. This story is a tribute to all victims of violence. When is it going to stop?